How to Talk about Advance Care Planning

Knowing what matters most to your loved one can help you honor their wishes and give you peace of mind if they become too sick to make decisions. Unfortunately, only one in three people in the United States has a plan for their future health care in place. There are steps you can take to help your friend or family member navigate future medical decisions — and to be prepared to make decisions for them, if needed. This is part of advance care planning, which involves preparing for decisions about future medical care and discussing those wishes with loved ones.

How to start the conversation about advance care planning

One of the best things you can do as a caregiver is to discuss your loved one’s care and treatment preferences in advance. Starting the conversation early is especially important if the person has been diagnosed with a condition that affects their cognitive health, such as Alzheimer’s disease or another form of dementia. Here are some ways you might start the conversation:

  • Start simple. Talking about specific medical treatments or decisions can be scary and overwhelming. Instead, try asking about any concerns they may have, what decisions they may need to make, and who they might trust to make decisions for them.
  • Share what’s important to you. Your loved one may feel more comfortable discussing their preferences if you talk about what matters to you, as well.
  • Remind them why it’s important. Talk about the benefits of having these conversations and creating an advance care plan. By documenting their wishes, they are more likely to get the care they want, and it can also help loved ones feel less burden, guilt, and depression.
  • Try to be understanding. After a recent diagnosis or health change, it can be overwhelming and difficult to discuss future health care needs. The person may feel more comfortable talking with someone else such as a doctor or someone in their spiritual community. You can also encourage the person to think about their potential needs and plan to discuss them another time.
  • Keep the conversation going. Listen carefully to what the person says and encourage them to continue sharing.

If the person is open to creating an advance care plan, you can provide them information on how to get started. It’s possible your loved one may not want to put a plan in place. Still, talking to them about their preferences can help you prepare for future decisions. You may also be able to help prepare in other ways, for example by getting important papers in order.

Source: National Institute on Aging