Harriet Hodgson
How did you become a caregiver for your loved one?
In 2013 my husband’s aorta dissected and he was rapidly bleeding to death. Surgeons operated on him three times in a desperate attempt to save his life. During the last operation he suffered a spinal cord injury that paralyzed his legs. I became his primary caregiver the night I drove him to the hospital.
Has your relationship changed with the loved one that you are caring for? If so how?
Becoming my husband’s primary caregiver made me aware, yet again, of his courage. When he agreed to the third operation my husband knew his chances of dying were high. His disability has made us appreciate every moment we have together. Because he rolled the dice, my husband was able to escort our granddaughter down the aisle in his wheelchair on her wedding day.
What is the hardest thing about being a caregiver and the most rewarding thing?
Watching my husband struggle to get into his wheelchair, use the leg lifter to position his feet on footrests, or use a grabber to pick up something, is extraordinarily painful to watch.
The most rewarding thing has been to see my husband’s courage in action, his optimism, and his kindness. When I get up in the morning, I know I’m making a difference in his life.
What advice would you give to other caregivers?
This is my 20th year as a family caregiving. Experience has taught me to trust my instincts. I also learned to believe in myself. While caregivers have their doubts, we’re stronger than we realize. I hung a sign across from my computer: You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have. And it’s true. Life didn’t give me a choice about being a family caregiver. Instead, family caregiving found me, and I’ve tried to do my best every year.
In ten words or less, what has caregiving taught you?
Caregiving has made me a more caring, compassionate, grateful person.
Describe a situation where being a Fearless Caregiver helped you to succeed.
One time my husband became so ill he didn’t know what year it was, or what day it was. He was so confused and weak that I called 911. Within minutes, a fire truck, and ambulance pulled up in front of our town home. The responders checked my husband, and agreed that he needed to go to the hospital. They transferred my husband to a gurney and wheeled him out the door. As they did this, a fireman commented, You’re not crying. Usually family members are crying when we do this.” I told him I’d been through a lot. Experience and love have made me a Fearless Caregiver.
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Fearless Caregiver Profile: Join us as we celebrate Fearless Caregivers sharing personal stories as we care for our loved ones. Read this week’s Fearless Caregiver Profile and feel free to add your profile as well, so we can learn from and share with our fellow caregivers.