Gary Barg, Editor-in-Chief
In last week’s newsletter, I shared a concern that a caregiver shared with me. A concern which I think all of us have faced at one point or another.
Below please see some responses that came in from family caregiver readers of this newsletter.
To recap, the question at hand was:
"I feel all alone being the sole caregiver for my mom, believe in the same house and I get NO time for recharging. How can I escape being "on duty" all the time?"
As well as the incredible responses from two talented advocates there were these responses from your fellow caregivers:
Call relatives, her friends, your friends, neighbors--everyone who has ever said, "What can I do to help?" Ask them to come over to be with Mom at a specific date and time (really specific--Tuesday from 11:30-1:00pm) so that you can leave the house and do something refreshing for you. If they can't come in person, a well-timed phone call will also give you a break. I did this for my husband and it had two effects. First, he didn't even notice I was gone. Second, he was amazed that whoever came or called had thought of him. He thought of himself as invisible once he got sick. These calls and visits reminded him that he was much loved in a way that I couldn't. The people who came or called always told me how useful they felt that they had made a difference in his day.
Maria Kacandes-Kamil
My two-cents about getting respite when you live with someone who needs constant supervision. Getting help from others to be able to leave the home is always preferred but that is not always possible. Cameras are a great way of being somewhere else, in the backyard or basement, and still being able to keep an eye on them without having to sit next to them. When possible, take time to do something else, maybe make a dance studio in the basement and when you get a minute, crank the music and dance. Go to your bedroom and relax while reading a book. If you prefer gardening, go outside when you can. Stealing minutes away wherever you can find them can provide a feeling of freedom.
Judy Wood
Maria and Judy prove the most important aspect of being a Fearless Caregiver. When in doubt: Ask a caregiver.
Share your wisdom in the comments box below