You Are Not Alone

April 11, 2018

12:33 PM

Gary Barg, Editor-in-Chief

About ten years ago, we were joined by the late and truly great Ms. Della Reese at some of our Fearless Caregiver Conferences. During each one of these events, Della took every caregiver question posed to her, and as is always the case when joined by Caregivers with Famous Faces at the events, the questions all dealt with family caregiving and not television shows, music or movies. Not to mention that when you have 400 family caregivers and one celebrity family caregiver in a room, all you really have is 401 family caregivers interacting and sharing love, stories, advice and wisdom.

About three weeks after one of the events (in Philadelphia), where we were Touched by an Angel and an amazing amount of support was shared by area family and professional caregivers and organizations, I received an email out of the blue from a Philly caregiver who was deeply upset that nobody gets what she goes through and she was convinced that there is no help for her. This was, of course, a concerning conversation for many reasons, but especially because she lived blocks from where the caregiving love fest was held just weeks before. So, I knew that our work was really cut out for us as well as any other caregiver advocate in cities big, small and rural.

We connected this caregiver with some local support organizations such as the Philadelphia Corporation on Aging and last I heard, she was doing well. If only she could have joined me recently in San Francisco a few weeks ago, she would have been impressed about the amount of people working hard to support caregivers and carers across the world.

The two events I attended in California were the Annual American Society on Aging’s Aging in America conference and Mary Furlong’s Boomer Summit. re were a few thousand well-attended sessions at these events designed to educate the thousands of caregiver educators, advocates and providers and producers.

Allow me to offer some examples to highlight the width and breadth of these sessions:

Financial planning across life’s events
Psychotherapy with LGBT older adults
Employed caregivers support at work
Uncovering funding solutions for your aging needs
Supporting male caregivers

I was also pleased to discover so many new products, services and even media designed to help the family caregivers as they care for their loved ones. It certainly makes for a whole lot more work for our 17^th annual Today's Caregiver Friendly Award judges. But they are all quite eager to get to work judging the best of the best.

Share your thoughts in the comments box below.

Comments (2)

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I care for my 54 yr old husband

Hi, we are Diana and Joe, we have been together since 1985 and married in 1994. We have been through the ups and downs of marriage and got through everything that was thrown at us. We love eachother so much and never did we imagine that one if us would have a stroke. Joe's stroke happened July 12, 2012, he had a bleeding stroke. It was a Thursday and I will never forget that day as long as I live. We we're getting ready for a party we we're throwing for our friends on Saturday, since so many were passing away, we decided to have our annual pig roast early. Joe and I were cleaning the house and yard on Thursday. I had to pick up my check from my last job and Joe had to get somethings done at the currency exchange. He came in from outside took a shower and sat down on the chair. He did not look well but I just thought it was from him partying the night before. In April of 2012 he had an open MRI of his head because of his headaches and nose bleeds and his MRI showed nothing but there was abnormal brain wave activity, so doctor put him on meds. Now as I look back on the situation I should of just taken him to the emergency room but I didn't. Joe went to currency exchange and I went for my check. I came home @ 1pm to meet Joe for grocery shopping. He was not there. I didn't worry until it became later and later in the day. I called his phone numerous times and got his voice message. I started to panic not hearing from him. Around 7pm that night i got a call from his phone but it was not joe it was the nurse from the ER telling me to get to the hospital right away and they will explain. When i walk in to the ER room and saw Joe he was unconscious with a bad red bruise on his right side. Nurses told me he had a stroke standing up and he fell hitting his head on the right and his brain shot to the left side of his head smashing against his skull. He was not responding to me at all but I knew to keep talking to him so he knew I was there and he wasn't alone. Little did I know what we were in store for and how our lives would change from that point on. They did a brain scan and was just waiting for the doctor to tell them what should be done. I called my brother and sister in law cause I knew I could not do this on my own. Doctors said he had to do brain surgery and it had to be done now to try and save his life. I agreed but had no idea what was happening. Doctor had to cut his left skull to relieve the pressure in his brain. I still was in shock. Joe went into surgery and hours and hours later doctor came out and said he did the best he could and didn't have to cut any if his brain just clean bad blood out but that I should plan for his death because they did not expect Joe to serve the next 72 hours. We waited for Joe to go to ICU and I called the family to come and say their good byes. I still could not believe what I was hearing. There is so much more to say. It is 2018 and Joe is alive and doing much better. I never gave up on him.

Diana Dvorak-incandella more than 6 years ago

Caregiver Support

Hi Gary,
Thanks so much for mentioning support of male caregivers. I received a call from a man who was caring for his mother. His depression and discouragement were evident. "I'm doing things for my mother that no son should do," he shared. (Immediately I thought of changing diapers.) We could have talked for hours, but I had to care for my husband, so I asked him to eat a balanced diet and join a support group. Don't know what happened, but I think of him often.

Home and business more than 6 years ago