And Do It Anyway

Editor's Pen

Our motto at the Fearless Caregiver Conferences virtual and in-person events is I’m a Fearless Caregiver – Don’t Mess with Me.

That statement truly resonates with me, but I want to also share that I know as a family caregiver fear often travels on my shoulder.  We never wanted to be as flip as to say that fear is not a part of being a caregiver.  It is just something that we need to learn how to live with and manage.

One of the best ways to do so is to visualize the situations that cause you potential fear and then plan out possible responses:

  • Fear of talking with family members about the support you need as a family caregiver.
  • Fear of telling your loved one’s physician that you think they are not providing the best medical care.
  • Fear of not finding some time for yourself in your life as a family caregiver.

First things first. Visualize yourself in these situations, how would they respond, how you would counter each response. Your proper preparation puts you in control of the situation and of your fear.

Prepare for the very worst thing you think could happen due to the upcoming interaction.  It probably is an exaggeration of reality, but at least you are the one in the situation over-prepared for whatever could happen. And the relief is massive when the worst case does not materialize.

Apply mindfulness.  How are you feeling when visualizing these interactions?  Are you tense with teeth clenched? shoulders tightened?  Learn to relax your body so you are better positioned for success.

 Study up.  If you are asking family members to help, give them a clear idea of what you need, 

There are certainly things that are likely to happen to you as a family caregiver that you will not be able to control.  What you can control is your response to the fear it engenders in you.  

Talk with the professionals and your fellow family caregivers (support groups) who can help you through the most fearful parts of caregiving.  

And remember that you are indeed someone who is not to be messed with!              

Please share your thoughts and tips below.