Gary Barg, Editor-in-Chief
At a recent Fearless Caregiver Conference, so many issues of importance to caregivers were raised that it could take up five columns, but I thought I would touch on one that is surprisingly not mentioned enough by event attendees – anger.
The issue of anger was brought up by one caregiver and it opened a floodgate of feelings and great advice from the panel and audience alike. I immediately recalled the memorable response to a similar question from an event in Palm Beach several years ago. The response from one of our our panelists, Laura Zel who is the Caregiver Counselor at MorseLife in West Palm Beach, was, “Of course you are angry, you’ve saved all your life and were expecting your retirement to be a lot different than it turned out to be when this disease came around…You got a raw deal. You need to accept and understand this and begin to channel your energy to make the best of it for you and your loved ones.”
Some of the caregivers had suggestions for how they deal with anger:
- “I walk around the block when I feel that I am going to say or do something I will regret.”
- “I will never hesitate to look into my husband’s eyes and say I’m sorry when I need to do so.”
- “I have my best friend’s number on speed dial and punch it rather than the wall.”
- “I try to find something to laugh about, preferably with my loved one.”
- “I write down my feelings and it makes it easier for me to figure out what I am really angry about”
- “There is something wrong if you don’t feel angry at sometime during your caregiving. It’s what you do about it that makes the difference.”
And my personal favorite answer, “Chocolate,” which in moderation and medically approved can be just what the doctor ordered.
Please share your stories in the comments below.