i hide

i hide            
        at first in guilt            
        taking something for myself            
        when his needs were                         
                     so much greater

i tremble           
        watching him stumble            
        seeing his frustration            
        hearing his fear                        
                      at each new loss of self

i ache            
        wanting to help            
        wanting to be more            
        for him                       
                      for me

i pray     
        for him to accept        
        the humiliation         
        the dying of each part                        
                      of himself

i weep            
        guilty of frustration            
        of lashing out, drained                        
        unable to heal him                        
                      or me            

i hide            
       to sleep through the night            
       to peer at the ocean            
       to listen to the wind’s song                        
                      to re-know joy

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