Carenote from Anne

June 17, 2019

2:58 PM

Welcome to CareNotes. In this special section we will feature a reader's letter and provide an opportunity for an interactive exchange that will help find some answers and possible solutions to concerns.

Burnt Out and Struggling

I am my husband's full time caregiver and I am looking for support. I have been married for 42 years, he has been disabled and chronically ill for over 15 years and I have been home with him for the past 3 years and I am burnt out. I have been looking for help for a few years as I am on my own and struggling.

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Comments (2)

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Caregiver Wives

Hi, I am also the wife of a patient and I think spouses are the most overlooked victims in the healthcare maze. We may or may not do hands-on nursing but we are the ones who pick up all the extra household work that our spouse used to do, cooking, driving them, managing appointments, sitting in waiting rooms, decision making and listening to endless medical personnel give us advice and pat us on the head and tell us to "take care of ourselves." It's a constant struggle for me between depression and rage. I think the only way to manage is to break up the tasks we are doing and try to get some relief wherever we can. If it's groceries, cleaning, nursing, socializing, whatever you hate doing and is soul-crushing, try to make small changes so you can find a little pleasure in life. I'm there with you.

Doris Butler more than 6 years ago

Another Caregiver wife

Hi, I am my husbands caregiver; he has been disabled for 10 years. He cannot drive and is a fall risk. He needs assistance with every day tasks. I have experienced burn out, too. After he has a meal, I have my time. An hour here or there to do puzzles or word games. I also have a beautiful garden. These things bring me joy and help me keep my sanity. I gently talked with him and explained I need time for myself daily to breathe...as much as possible, this strategy works. He is understanding and cares about my well being. We also make time for each other. Two days a week, we have a standing date to go out and eat. He is able to socialize and get in a bit of exercise. Try to find balance in your life. It goes a long way. I'm also here for you.

Lori Jones more than 6 years ago