Celebrating Caregiver’s Mother

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My dad retired in 1990 at the age of 61, within months was diagnosed with bone marrow cancer and passed away 30 years ago this very month.  Upon his retirement and before the diagnosis he and my mom opened a small business of their own but had to close the doors as his health deteriorated.

Mom who was 57 years old at the time, went from being business and life partner to full time caregiver with all that new role represented. Within a few years after my dad's passing, both my grandparents took ill with mom as their primary caregiver.  I moved back home to South Florida to become what I like to call a “caregivers’ caregiver,” supporting mom as best I could and in any way I could. 

It was by watching her steadfast determination that she was going to secure the best care the system had to offer my grandparents, including dealing with some unhelpful relatives, a myriad of doctors’ visits, moonlight runs to the emergency room, battling insurance companies and learning all that she could to ensure their health and safety, that I started to comprehend the important role of the family caregiver. 

Once we created Today's Caregiver magazine, mom took to writing a column in each issue about her life as a family caregiver, a widow and as a senior,

which she called “Phoenix Rising.”  All this at an age younger than I am now.  She never missed one of our in-person Fearless Caregiver Conferences held in the local communities, but I always hated the disappointed look in caregiver's faces at the events we held in other states when I had to tell them mom wouldn't be in attendance. 

Two years ago, in a reversal of her lifelong role of caring for everybody else, mom started to need our care, a role reversal in which my sister, brother and I are gladly participating. 

This coming Monday, we celebrate mom's 90th birthday and last weekend we held a party for Moms 90th and my sister, Linda’s 70th birthday.  It was a lovefest for all and when Mom took to the microphone laughs were soon to follow.

Whatever we have been able to do to support family caregivers through the Fearless Caregiver Conferences, Today’s Caregiver magazine, books or caregiver.com, it is all due to what we've learned by watching her care for our loved ones over all these years.

90 years? I think more like 90 miles an hour.

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