Fearless Caregiver Profile: Mary Ross

How did you become the caregiver for your loved one?

Mom is mentally challenged. I knew at age 10 living with Mom her dad and baby brother. At age 21 I took guardianship of  15 y /o brother and age 23 grandpa died and they both were living with me and my husband and mom is still with me.

Has your relationship changed with the loved one that you are caring for? If so how?

The changes is our evolution. I've had a long life with mom on a daily but now her health at 85 is declining and I know we are in our last stretch of this daughter/mother relationship. 

What is the hardest thing about being a caregiver and the most rewarding thing?

The hardest is family not  understanding the breaks that are precious to a caregiver. The 2 min. phone calls to the loved one can make their day. The hardest is when it doesn't  happen and the rewarding thing is when it does.

What advice would you give to other caregivers?

Do not take their words or actions personally. Its the disease of their mental degrading. Put your foot down when they act like brats. Mom  has been in a nursing home before so its easy to mention that to calm her down.

In ten words or less, what has caregiving taught you?

Pray for patience

Describe a situation where being a Fearless Caregiver helped you succeed?

Four years ago I was diagnosed with stage 3C cancer. I prayed that I didn't look sick to not scare her. Its been a long journey but being fearless and reminding myself I had cancer yes but cancer didn't have me I overcame.

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Fearless Caregiver Profile: Join us as we celebrate Fearless Caregivers sharing personal stories as we care for our loved ones. Read this week’s Fearless Caregiver Profile and feel free to add your profile as well, so we can learn from and share with our fellow caregivers.