Fearless Caregiver Profile: Buffy Duvall

How did you become the caregiver for your loved one?

I believe it was a, "Divine Assignment," given to me by God to learn how to expand my capacity to love. I started my care journey 18-years ago when I relocated back to NY upon realizing that something was going wrong in my parents' home.  

Has your relationship changed with the loved one that you are caring for? If so how?

What I thought was love, changed. And I changed. This ambitious, mover and shaker was forced to slow down, relinquish control and permit tenderness, gentleness and unconditional love to reign. Now instead of doing and telling, I patiently sit and hug.

What is the hardest thing about being a caregiver and the most rewarding thing?

Hardest thing: How it has the potential to devastate every aspect of your life, including finances, career, relationships, our health. Most Rewarding thing: that I took on the hardest job I ever wanted to love, and daily watched myself grow in love.

What advice would you give to other caregivers?

Love Always Wins! So I say to Caregivers, love won when you made the decision to Care! Love won each time you choose patience, compassion, empathy and forgiveness, or at least wanted to. And love won when your LOs last years were better because of You.

In ten words or less, what has caregiving taught you?

That I can survive and thrive in anything, if love is present.

Describe a situation where being a Fearless Caregiver helped you succeed?

When my brother returned from one of his many hospitalizations, heart failure, dialysis, chronic high blood pressure, all exacerbated by his schizophrenia, and now, a colostomy, he was fainting and falling, I had to lay my fear aside to care for him.

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Fearless Caregiver Profile: Join us as we celebrate Fearless Caregivers sharing personal stories as we care for our loved ones. Read this week’s Fearless Caregiver Profile and feel free to add your profile as well, so we can learn from and share with our fellow caregivers.