Fearless Caregiver Profile: JOAN LOWDER

How did you become the caregiver for your loved one?

I was oldest sibling with Power of Attorney (POA.) I stepped forward. I'm the one she wants. Mama is almost 94 and healthy now.

Has your relationship changed with the loved one that you are caring for? If so how?

I think we have a more loving relationship, more appreciation for how short life can be. I swore I would not be doing this and here I am. Not so bad but was very stressful in beginning.

What is the hardest thing about being a caregiver and the most rewarding thing?

Hardest was seeing Mama not herself. Next was dealing with my sister who doesn't like me, because of POA. My sister and I can speak to each other as long as on topic. Mama is now in a retirement complex with her own apartment and she seems so happy. 

What advice would you give to other caregivers?

Start checking on things before you will need them. You will have to make some quick decisions. When leaving hospital, she was going to rehab and they only gave us 24 hours to choose one that insurance would pay for. Same thing happened when leaving rehab. 

In ten words or less, what has caregiving taught you?

Patience, compassion, understanding, enjoy each day.

Describe a situation where being a Fearless Caregiver helped you succeed?

Having taken classes since the first medical issue that took her from her home of 69 years, I've learned how to handle future situations. Ask questions of doctors rather than assuming they will tell you. Each class left me with a bit of new info.

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Fearless Caregiver Profile: Join us as we celebrate Fearless Caregivers sharing personal stories as we care for our loved ones. Read this week’s Fearless Caregiver Profile and feel free to add your profile as well, so we can learn from and share with our fellow caregivers.