SC Barg
A two-minute daily practice to reconnect with the person behind the caregiving role.
Outside of Caregiving… Who Am I?
After talking with thousands of caregivers at our Fearless Caregiver Conferences, I’ve noticed a quiet pattern. When caregivers introduce themselves, they almost always lead with their caregiving role.
“I take care of my mom…”
“I’m my husband’s full-time caregiver…”
“I moved in to take care of my sister…”
And those words are full of love and responsibility — but I always find myself wanting to gently ask:
"Outside of caregiving… who are you?"
Caregiving is a deeply compassionate act, but somewhere along the way, many caregivers stop using their own name in their own story.
Their interests, dreams, personal identity — even their sense of humor — get packed away for later. The problem is, “later” rarely announces itself. There is no alarm that goes off to say, “Today is the day you get to return to yourself.”
So we’re going to create that moment — in tiny bite sized doses.
The Two-Minute Identity Exercise
Let’s start small. Just Two minutes.
Not a full journaling session, not a heart-spilling emotional deep dive. Just one sentence.
Write one sentence that begins with any of the following:
- “I am…”
- “I remember loving…”
- “Before caregiving, I used to…”
- “If I had one free afternoon just for me, I would…”
Don’t try to be poetic. Just be honest. Maybe it’s:
“I am someone who used to love painting but hasn’t held a brush in three years.”
Or:
“Before caregiving, I did the mani pedi hair me-day each month.”
That sentence is a breadcrumb — a marker proving that you still exist somewhere beneath the doctors appointments, insurance calls, pharmacy visits the and the caregiving responsibilities.
Then -Tomorrow: Add Just Two More Minutes
On the next day, take two more minutes. Continue the sentence, or start a new one. That’s it. Just:
Day 1 → 2 minutes
Day 2 → 4 minutes
Day 3 → 6 minutes
And so on.
You don’t need a fancy journal. A sticky note, the back of a grocery list, or on the back of a promotional flyer on the counter of the doctors office or on a composite lined paper binder you can get at dollar tree. What matters is this simple truth:
You keep everyone else’s records. This is the one place where you get to record you.
Why This Matters More Than It Seems
Losing identity in caregiving doesn’t usually happen in big moments. It happens slowly — in the things we stop mentioning, the hobbies we stop referencing, the stories we stop telling.
By taking back just a few minutes each day, you’re doing more than journaling — you are building a bridge back to yourself.
Because here’s what I’ve learned after 30 years of speaking with caregivers:
A caregiver who remembers who they are — even in small moments — becomes stronger, clearer, and more resilient. Not because they are abandoning their role, but because they are honoring the fearless person fulfilling it.
You Deserve to Be in the Story Too
Caregiving is something you do, not the entirety of who you are.
Your story matters — sentence by sentence, minute by minute.
Your Turn — If You’d Like to Share
If you’re willing, I’d love to hear from you.
Reply with just one sentence that begins with: “Outside of caregiving, I am…”
No pressure. No need for paragraphs. Just one sentence — your voice, your identity, your reminder.
I read every single one.
Please share your comments below.