The following is a comment from a family caregiver who is dealing with guardian/conservatorship she feels is exploiting her loved one. This is a growing problem in the US. Has this happened to your loved one? Please read and share your comment/experience/opinions.
My father had a stroke in 2016. I was under the impression he was being taken care of but I was deceived, lied to and things that occurred haunt me to this day.
My younger brother lived with my father after the stroke while I was living in an apartment in the next town over. My mother who has been divorced from my father for about 30 years somehow made sure my younger brother, in the midst of a drug addiction, was made power of attorney. The inevitable happened and he stole money and was sent to rehab.
After this happened a conservator and guardian were put in place but I did not receive any of the letters explaining that he needed someone in the house to take care of him. Letters that reached out to his family and children but that I didn't receive because my mother had my letters sent to her address even though my address was listed. This is illegal.
I hired a pro bono lawyer who made copies of all of the letters and all of the hearings I missed, thinking it would be an easy case because I was his daughter and was moving home and stepping up to care for him. But the courts failed us. Even though the conservator and guardian tried to resign, the courts did not allow it!
Now my father is in the PACE program which claims to care for his health, his hygiene and his home; these are all lies! His health is deteriorating. Our home, which is not only the home I grew up in but was built by my great grandfather and lived in by only family members and it is very important to me that it stays this way!
Despite my efforts it is falling apart I have found programs and struggled to scrounge up money to fix his water heater put in a new furnace a washing machine and dryer I buy all of the detergents, laundry soap, sheets, clothes, sneakers, socks underwear etc
They claim to do his laundry, his dishes, change his sheets, vacuum, sweep and mop etc. but not only do I buy all of the cleaning products but I also use them! The one and only thing they do is grocery shop for him. When I moved back he was getting four half gallons of ice cream, two boxes of donuts and a cheesecake every week for a diabetic who had a stroke and needed healthy food.
I made the grocery list and now he receives food which is a little healthier but I'm surrounded by liars and people who are awaiting for my father to die or this house to fall apart. I don't know who to turn to.
It is not a lawyer it is not a judge or the courts. I even tried reporting abuse and neglect but they did nothing for me. I am so overwhelmed and stressed out and don't want to take it out on my father who is deteriorating when he should be getting better.
No one is helping us and I don't know what to do anymore!? If anyone could PLEASE help us understand what to do, who to tell, how I can help my father stay in his home and save his life I would be forever grateful.
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