Henry and Grace

As a couple, Henry and Grace taught me as much as anyone ever has about living life to the fullest, not in words, but by example.  They were my parents best friends for 40 years and the four of them spent much of their times together laughing.  As a teenager, I remember times where I was living through an early role reversal, with me as the adult and the four of them as a pack of fun-loving kids out too late.

Henry and Grace worked together for the entire time they were married in the professional recruitment agency they started in the early sixties. Even though I worked for them right after college, I never saw them argue. They were truly a Yin and Yang couple. Grace would be out front, fearlessly contacting anyone necessary for their business to succeed, scolding bank presidents as if they were her kids and outlawyering the lawyers. Henry would be sitting in the back office, tallying up the numbers while he smoked his pipe, keeping the engine running smoothly. I’m sure they thought these were times which would never end. I know I did.

In their later years, Henry developed Parkinson’s disease, a diagnosis they handled in their usual manner, learning what they could to battle the disease while attempting to keep a smile on their faces as often as possible. Several months into her caregiving, Grace’s demeanor started to exhibit the stress and anguish from recognizing that that this was one battle in which they would not be victorious.

Although they did not have any children, they had a great group of personal friends who, while respecting their desire for privacy, worked together to make sure they were supported in any way possible. This was all happening in the early days of the internet, so we all burned up the phone lines between us, planning, conspiring and organizing so Henry and Grace did not lose their independence, but also were held within our transparent bubble of care.  Who would be bringing dinner?  Who would be taking either of them to doctor or dentist appointments? And even at times, who would accompany them to some terrific Parkinson’s support group meetings? 

After Henry passed, Grace brought us together and thanked us profusely, we didn’t know what to say, as it was really a blessing for each and every one of us to be of service, finally one of my mom’s friends broke the silence saying, “well, what’s family for?”    

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