Those Four Little Words

As far as I am concerned, there are two sets of three little words that every family caregiver needs to have at their disposal and use as frequently as possible.

The first set is obvious to you romantics out there—it is, of course, "I Love You."

You can't say that enough.  Add in a smile and a warm hug for good measure.  

Any longtime newsletter reader will already know what the second set of words is and that it must be used unfailingly and fearlessly whenever necessary:  “Who’s your supervisor?”  

Those words will work wonders when you face any unreasonable roadblock as you care for your loved one.

At a recent Fearless Caregiver Conference, a family caregiver expanded my caregiving vocabulary.  It turns out that she was getting extremely frustrated by having to answer the same questions over and over again from her mother who was living with Alzheimer's disease.

After one such session,  she was about to respond angrily to her mom, who would not understand anything but the anger in her daughter's voice.  Before she had a chance to speak, her husband (a wise man, indeed) took her aside and said the following four words.

These became the mantra of the event that day.  I would like you to say them to yourself whenever those unimportant things that happen make us lose our perspective.

The phrase is:  "What Does It Matter?"

Indeed.

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