Emotional Reframing

I had lunch recently (see, they do let me out of the office for reasons other than events, every once and a while) with an extremely interesting new friend who is a member of the clergy.

We spoke about the upcoming Fearless Caregiver Conferences in his neighboring communities where he will be joining us and a wide range of other topics.

One topic we discussed was how beneficial it is to sometimes be able to emotionally reframe the situations in which we find ourselves. One of the best examples I have ever heard of emotional reframing came from a story he told about his mother who, many years ago, was living in a long-term care facility at the age of 94.

A fiercely independent person, his mom had been the first to realize that continuing to live in her own home was no longer a safe option and she needed to find other accommodations. She had a terrific attitude about her new living situation, so it came as a surprise when he received a very upset and tearful call from her.

She explained that another resident she knew well had been found dead in his shower and that he was the third friend in a row living in the facility who had recently passed away. My friend tried to console her and visited her at his earliest opportunity.

He was pleasantly surprised when she greeted him with smiles and a spring in her step. He asked her how she was doing, and her response was an object lesson for everyone at any age. She said “You, know, dear, with all of these friends passing away, I just realized that this was the Lord’s way of telling me I needed to make new ones.” She joined the facility’s welcoming committee and made sure she interacted with all the new residents as they moved in.

PS, A few months later she was complaining that she now couldn’t get a moments peace, since all the new friends she just made wanted to talk with her whenever they saw her in the halls!

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