Calling Doctor Caregiver
It's May, it's May, the month of "Yes, you may"
From the play and film Camelot Lyricist: Alan Jay Lerner
Earlier this month, I shared the incredible interactions at the first ever Evansville, Indiana Fearless Caregiver conference. This week, I would like to offer a special thanks to our partners who allowed us to host the first annual Tallahassee Fearless Caregiver Conference.
The conference was held at the beautiful Deer Lake Methodist Church and Pastor Jim and his team really made us feel at home.
I like to say that our work at caregiver.com and as hosts of the Fearless Caregiver conferences is to help professionalize the family caregiver and at the same time, humanize the system.
The event started on a high note with Dr. Paul Katz of FSU Senior Health asks a question of the attendees, What do you want to hear from the medical professionals when they suggest that your loved one needs long term care placement?
Wow, did that open up a terrific conversation thread between caregiver and panelists.
A few interesting answers received by the doctor:
- I would like you to let me know that placement is the best solutions for my loved ones
- I want to make sure they maintain their dignity
- I would like the doctor to see us all as a team, patient (if possible) children and medical staff
We also heard this from a military veteran’s spouse, As a caregiver, I want to know the care team will really care for my husband. If you want me as a client, you better have some direct answers to my questions, because I’m trusting you with someone I love.
On another note, this caregiver spoke of some challenges she faced partnering with her husband’s doctors as an active and (let’s say) Fearless Caregiver, My husband’s care needs are transitioning, and I, of course, had a lot of questions for his doctors about that and about his new medication regime.
And in response I have heard–
- Are you trying to be a doctor or something?
- You don’t need to know how this all works, just follow our instructions or call the pharmacist.
- But, if my husband is having a problem at 2am, the pharmacy is already closed.
She went on to say that she did not think, on a whole, the medical professionals are bad, but it would really be nice if they knew more about our role as caregivers and wishes that they would be taught courses in medical school about what to do or say when the family caregivers ask certain questions.
My advice: if you ever get into the same situation, when the medical professional asks “what, are you trying to be a doctor?” You might consider responding that although you may not be the doctor – you are, actually, the real boss of your loved ones care, as the CEO of Caring for Your Loved One, Inc. and you can make the decision of which healthcare partners to utilize.
And, by the way, you might want even to add the following phrase: I am a Fearless Caregiver, don’t mess with me!
Share your thoughts in the comments below