30 Days Later
Most of us have been officially sheltering in place for the past 30 days or so. I recently spoke with a working mother and caregiver with two small children who usually tells me that she wishes she had more time to spend with her toddlers before they grew up and didn’t want to spend time with her anymore. This week however, in a Facetime conversation, she muttered (more than a few times) that you should be careful what you wish for.
Not that she doesn’t love being with her family, she certainly does, but sometimes it is WTMT (Way Too Much Togetherness). She also mentioned that it is probably good that there is no alcohol in her house.
Although all of our situations are different, one of the commonalities of caregiving is stress and the toll it takes on us. So what does the caregiver do when sheltering-in-place is in the cards for the foreseeable future?
- First: find a quiet place in the home (closets count) and take a deep breath (In fact, take a few of them.)
- Second: assess your situation. Who is in the home with you? What is on your plate, and who can you ask for help?
- Third: What would you like to have accomplished after these trying times are over and we are released ffrom lock down.
If it is journaling, make sure you write something every day. I have a senior loved one who is tape recording the stories from her youth to be able to share with her great-grandkids and for them to share with their future progeny.
Don’t forget to laugh with your family members at least once a day, even if you have nothing to laugh about. The act of smiling and laughing creates some extremely valuable and pleasurable endorphins and how you react to these days will have a lot to do with how your young children learn to react to the adversities they may face in their lifetimes.
Facetime, Zoom, and Skype. Make sure you spend digital time with friends and loved ones sharing good times and even commiserating your shared frustrations of living in the time of COVID-19.
I took part in a holiday Zoom call with loved ones, which coincided with my great-nieces first birthday and the family instantly fell into the teasing and laughing that we shared in person during every other year.
As with every other time, the best way to care for others is to learn to take the time to care for yourselves. Soon we will all be together again and share our stories of love, commitment and seventy-seven viewings of Moana.
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