Carenote from ML

Welcome to CareNotes. In this special section we will feature a reader's letter and provide an opportunity for an interactive exchange that will help find some answers and possible solutions to concerns.

Guilt

Last year was I the sole caregiver for my husband until he died. 5 weeks later, with no options, I became the sole caregiver for my mother with dementia. For the first time in my life I asked for help from my only sibling. He said no.

His wife, who is a geriatric nurse said to put Mom in the mental ward of the hospital. That was the extent of help I received. We have to wait at least 6 more months before she will get a bed in a nursing home because of Covid. Covid also means we cannot use outside help, such as some type of respite care for breaks.

As of 8 days ago, I  had to admit to myself and my boss that I would not be able to return to work. Between my husband's illness and now this, I haven't been to the office in 15 months. I appreciated the company waiting that long for me.

So at the end of 6 more months of this hellish life, I will be 63 years old, unemployed and basically completely on my own. No job, no husband and a greatly diminished pension. So yeah, I'm pretty angry and then I feel guilty about being angry and then I feel angry about feeling guilty 

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