Do you have what it takes to be a caregiver?
The time has come when a family member needs assistance and you’re struggling to understand what will be needed of you as you move into the role of full- or part-time caregiver.
Many new caregivers know they will need to rearrange their schedules, juggle doctors’ visits and prescriptions, plan shopping trips and perform regular housekeeping chores, but some do not consider what will be needed of them emotionally and functionally before preparing for this new important role.
Things to consider
Caregivers must master a variety of qualities to be successful and provide the best care possible, including interpersonal and management skills that you may have never drawn on before.
Here are three traits you need to consider before becoming a family caregiver:
- Physical strength and stamina. Caregivers must perform a variety of physical tasks, including housekeeping chores, carrying groceries and lifting a loved one. Be prepared to be on your feet for long periods of time and know that your waking hours will revolve around your family member’s needs. Maintaining your own health through exercise, a balanced diet, a good night’s sleep and some recharging time will help you shoulder through the burdens of your daily tasks.
- Time management and organizational skills. Do you know what medications your loved one takes and when? How much time do you need to allow to get your loved one ready to go to their doctor’s appointments? Do you know exactly where their medications are? Being able to manage your time or lay your hands on important medication as needed could be critical when seconds count.
- Compassion and interpersonal skills. Being able to understand your loved one’s discomfort or nurturing a trusting relationship with the person you will be caring for are qualities that caregivers need to hone to be effective. These are not “hard” skills like organization or time management, but they are necessary when providing care for someone who is suffering from disease, illness or physical distress.
Do you also have support?
Becoming a family caregiver does not mean you need to isolate yourself and your loved one. In fact, having outside support as a caregiver is important when you consider taking on this role.
The number of family caregivers is increasing as the number of Baby Boomers continue to age. According to one report, that number increased by 9.5 million from 2015 to 2020 and continues to grow.
That also means there are more caregiver support groups you can join to help you improve your skills and outlook. Joining a support group will put you in touch with others who understand your frustrations and know where you are coming from because they experience the same problems.
It also helps to have other family members who can assist. Bringing family members together to discuss long-term care and assist with issues that arise outside of care, such as dealing with legal or financial concerns, is an action that needs to be considered. For example, determine who has the legal power to manage finances. Can the caregiver or someone else write checks to pay bills if your loved one is incapacitated? Legally, decisions should be made when your family member is competent, such as power of attorney, healthcare surrogate, wills, trusts, advanced directives, and end of life decisions.
You will also need to have back-up contingencies when you need to take time off due to your own illness or simply to recharge. Having a network of family, friends or even paid caregivers can provide you with this type of support.
Long-term caregivers are at increased risk of depression because of lack of support, time off and compensation. When considering if becoming your loved one’s caregiver is a role you can perform, determining the support you will receive from other family members and friends is a priority.
The benefits of caregiving
Now that you have considered all the challenges you face should you become your loved one’s caregiver, you can also weigh these against the benefits.
For example, many seniors who can stay at home are healthier and happier. Being able to provide your loved one with the ability to stay at home allows for a sense of freedom to do the things you both consider necessary for long-term care.
There are also benefits solely for the caregiver. These include the chance to put your organizational and management skills to good use, to build an even closer relationship with the person you’re caring for and to create memories that last a lifetime for both of you.
Most caregivers would tell you after their loved one has passed, that they would do it all over again without question, despite the challenges, family disagreements, lack of support, lack of sleep and more.
Becoming a caregiver is not something to take lightly and is not always a choice, but there is support available. Just remember you are not alone.