How to Recharge this Summer

Summer is upon us, and more people are getting out and about. But for caregivers, comprising 53 million adults in the U.S., summer can mean longer days of isolation caring for loved ones. 

40% of caregivers say they feel emotionally stressed¹, which may be complicated by physical and financial problems. About 85% of family caregivers do not receive respite care².

The summer may amplify challenges and changing family dynamics. The child who is caring for parents, for instance, might work longer hours for coworkers on vacation, or have kids at home with sports camps ramping up, sending normal routines into a tailspin.

Just as we all get a little crankier as we get hungrier, heat can also impact our attitudes. Although hotter weather may negatively impact seniors’ health, those with poor circulation may favor higher temps at home. Their caregivers, conversely, may feel the heat intensely, as they attend to loved ones’ needs.

How can caregivers prioritize their own health, so that they can continue to provide great care for their loved one, and enjoy the summer? 

Recognizing burnout

The first step is recognizing burnout before it is too late.³

Perhaps you are like many caregivers using common buzzwords, “I have to do this,” “He/she cared for me when I had cancer, surgery, or whatever,” “Who else is going to do it?” or “It’s my responsibility. Till death do us part.”

While it is true you may be the primary caregiver, your health is equally important. In fact, dealing with a “major illness or injury” is ranked as one of the top 5 stressors, right next to divorce and moving. Often we, in the home healthcare industry, see the impacts of caring for a sick loved one as a silent killer. When one is regularly experiencing high levels of stress, healthcare outcomes may suffer⁴.  

Caregivers also need to take care of themselves to decrease likelihood of unintentional physical or verbal abuse or neglect resulting from the inability to cope. For instance, a niece who was going to nursing school was also serving as the caregiver for her uncle. Some might think it would be the perfect scenario, but the pressure became too great and she abandoned her uncle, requiring adult protective services to be called in.

Caregivers may not want to bother others. But if they do not get help early on, they may have to address their own physical and emotional health issues later and, inevitably, “trouble” family and loved ones even more than if they sought their help earlier. A major setback, such as the caregiver’s own illness or a broken bone, may push those needs from 0 to 60. Consider a husband, age 93, caring for his wife. Neither he nor his wife want to ask their children for help – until he falls and breaks his arm, and the couple’s adult children are required to provide around-the-clock care for both.

Many caregivers instinctively put the needs of their loved one first, diminishing their own needs for some level of vacation or respite. With the guilt of taking time away from a loved one, the preparation required to plan and pack, they may insist that they don’t want to get away or it’s easier to just stay home.

But taking time for yourself is important.

Signs of caregiver burnout

• Irritability. Are you more easily flustered, likely to snap at small things? Caregivers who do not feel supported indicate they are more likely to be angry/irritable than those who do feel supported (69% versus 48%).⁵ If you notice yourself or another caregiver becoming more easily agitated, look for ways to alleviate some stress.
• A change in appetite, weight or general well-being. Caregivers often instinctively put themselves second, third or even fourth. They may not get enough sleep (60% of caregivers versus 44% of people nationwide say they lay awake at night);⁶ grab meals on the go, or miss them altogether because they don’t have time to fix food.
• Worsening medical conditions. The stress and lack of sleep can make disease progress for caregivers.
• Withdrawing from friends and family. Caregivers may accept isolation and hopelessness as the new normal. They may become estranged from children as they don’t want to “bother” them or may feel resentment toward them.

Tips for caregivers to recharge

• Reach out to a support system. This could be your church, a support group, trusted friend. There is nothing like having a chat with someone willing to listen, even one day a week. Research indicates that caregivers who say they have adequate support are less stressed than those who do not.
• Take preventative measures. Take care of yourself, eat well, stay healthy, go to doctor appointments, be compliant with your doctor’s orders, and get good sleep.
• Take advantage of respite care. This can include adult daycare, assisted living, and home care services. You might consider taking a staycation by checking your loved one into a short stay at an assisted living program for one or a few days, so you can catch up at home or even just get some sleep! At least, have someone come to your house for even an hour or two, weekly.
• Be forgiving of yourself. Many caregivers have the perception that they are being judged and everything has to be perfect. Everyone’s journey is different. It’s okay if minor things are out of place or you don’t do every element of your routine. Some days it’s best to throw perfection out the window.
• Investigate local programs. Just about every state has an aging council and social workers involved in hospice who can offer access to no-cost resources and programs. Caregiver Resource Center OC is one example locally, offering respite grants based on each family’s personal situation, in addition to free resources. Individuals may qualify for a day respite grant for support.
• Ask a family member for help. Now that it’s summer, ask your teenaged daughter, son, granddaughter or grandson to stay with a loved one as free respite care. Perhaps they could host lunch at a nearby park, beach, or lake.
• Find a little time for you. Make a list of your favorite things—cooking a special meal, going out to dinner, taking time for a walk—and do them this summer. Carve out a few minutes each day for you. Other ideas include:

• Take a soak in the tub after your loved one goes to bed. Use some tropical scented bath suds, immerse yourself in the bubbles, and breathe in the luxurious scents.
• Practice grounding. In the morning, before your loved one is fully awake and it gets too hot out, walk barefooted on the earth, grass, sand, and/or sidewalk. Grounding is said to reduce anxiety, stress, and inflammation and increase well-being⁷ by electrically connecting one to the earth.

Perhaps most important, be forgiving of yourself and focus on the positive whenever possible. Even one positive thought each day can allow your mental mood to shift.

Consider one couple in their early 60s that maintained a positive mindset. They had recently retired and were set to travel the world. Unfortunately, just as they were making plans, he was diagnosed with early onset dementia, which progressed rapidly. Initially, the wife, as caregiver, took on the “this is my new normal” talk that many of us adopt. However, two months into her husband’s diagnosis, she decided to get some help. Today, her husband is receiving care services for four hours, two times a week, and she has time to go to Bible study, have a lunch with friends, go to Costco – with the freedom to not have to push a wheelchair and make her husband hold the groceries on his lap. Though these are simple things, it’s bliss for her and her husband gets a change of pace.

Consider how you can take time to benefit you. Start small. Grounding, taking a long bubble bath, might sound frivolous, but just try it. If it takes you to Hawaii for just 15 minutes, it is well worth it for you and your loved one.

1.Caregiver Burnout: Symptoms and Treatment (healthline.com)

2.Caregiver Burnout - AgingInPlace.org

3.How to Recover From Caregiver Burnout: 5 Tips to Reduce Stress - Parentis Health

4.Physical and Mental Health Effects of Family Caregiving - PMC (nih.gov)

5.https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/stress/2011/final-2011.pdf

6.https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/stress/2011/final-2011.pdf

7.https://www.healthline.com/health/grounding#takeaway