Interview with Ryan Herd
Gary Barg: Hi Ryan, when I was looking at your website, I realized you say something which is one of my favorite phrases, “Built by caregivers for caregivers.” Can you tell me what you mean by that?
Ryan Herd: This all started because my father has a type of recurring cancer, a
nd when I say built by caregivers for caregivers, you know what we learned? Nobody’s going to understand a caregiver unless they’re a caregiver themselves. From the stress to the sleepless nights, the worrying and concern. This includes the phone calls that your loved one does not answer so you jump in your car only to find out they were in the bathroom or didn’t put in their hearing aids. So, it’s really about the caregiver and the caregiver journey and anything that I can do that can give them the tools to make their life less stressful and gives them a little more piece of mind, that’s my goal. That’s what I’m going to do.
Gary Barg: I’m glad you brought that up because I do want to dive into the main caregiving challenges that you’re looking to help solve.
Ryan Herd: As a caregiver, when your loved one’s front door closes, it’s a black hole. You have no idea what’s going on. You don’t know if Dad is in the bathroom or did Grandma put her hearing aid in. Or if they’re on the floor because something has happened. So, the biggest problem we’re solving is to allow you to be a fly on the wall to see how your loved one’s doing. To know that your loved one got up in the morning is game changing. Just to be able to look at an app and see Dad got up, and he’s walking around.
Gary Barg: What do you mean when you say you developed a tool?
Ryan Herd: As a caregiver for my aging loved one, what do I really want to know? First, I want to know that they’re alive and after we get past that and my loved one is moving around, all the other things. Are they eating enough? Are they opening up the fridge? Are they taking their medication? Are they going to the bathroom? Are they taking showers? At the end of the day, the ability to look at an app on your phone and know how they’re doing gives you the tool to have that conversation if something’s amiss. If Mom’s getting up four or five times at night and normally she doesn’t, it gives you that tool to have that conversation with mom.
Gary Barg: That’s where the peace of mind comes in for you as a caregiver.
Ryan Herd: Exactly.
Gary Barg: Also, you’re not abusing the relationship. You’re not overwhelming him. You’re not calling her 50 times. You’re setting the parameter of your relationship with your tools.
Ryan Herd: Yes and the conversations I was having there with the caregivers at your New Haven Fearless Caregiver Conference last month pulled at my heartstrings. They were amazing because the conversations include something like, “I call my mom ten times a day.” And then of course, you have the funny things, “Mom didn’t put her hearing aids in. Or Mom had her hearing aids in, but the battery’s dead.” They just wanted to know how their loved ones are doing.
And that’s where the Caregiver Smart Solutions tool comes in so you can have real conversations instead of always calling Mom, with her getting annoyed. “Why are you calling me again? You’ve called me ten times today. Well, you haven’t answered the phone five times. That’s because you call me ten times.”
Gary Barg: Well, it’s funny you mention ten times. Another thing you talk about is ten times better, and I want you to talk about what that means.
Ryan Herd: I think of it like this: ten times better than what? Well, worst-case scenario, ten times better than running over there all the time. Whether mom is next door or three states away, you’re not always going to be able to run over there. What about other things? Let’s say you put a camera in. Nobody likes to be spied on with a camera in their home. Besides that, the problem with cameras is that you must watch them. So, if you also must work or take care of the kids, then you must have a screen on. You have to be constantly watching the video and waiting for something to happen. Now, if you were to do that, Gary, is that going to make you more stressed or less stressed?
Gary Barg: It’s true. And actually, in that case, it’s not a tool. It’s an overbearing commitment. It’s three in the morning. I got to look. I got to look at the camera.
Ryan Herd: Exactly, and with a tool like Caregiver Smart Solutions using noninvasive technology, we’re literally monitoring the habits of the loved one because let’s face it, you’re not going to change the habits of an 85-year-old. We can barely change our own habits. That’s why you need the right tools for the right situations, and that’s why it has to come from a caregiver, because as I said before, only a caregiver is going to understand what a caregiver needs.
Gary Barg: There’s another ten times statement- I see a theme here that I wanted to talk about. What does ten times cheaper mean?
Ryan Herd: If you’re calling Mom and she’s not answering while you’re at work, then what? You run out of work only to find out ninety-nine percent of the time it’s a non-issue. Mom is sleeping on the couch, didn’t put her hearing aids in or was in the bathroom. But you didn’t know because it’s a black hole of information. So, what is your time worth? And possibly, if you don’t have an understanding boss, what is getting fired worth?
Then there are other things. What if you hire somebody to check in on Mom? I think that’s a great idea, if you can get in-home services, but let’s think about it. The least expensive non-medical service I can find is $25 an hour. They get a minimum of four hours a day, twice a week. So that’s $200 right there, and that’s only eight hours a week. Do you have any idea how many hours are in a week?
Gary Barg: A lot.
Ryan Herd: A hundred and sixty-eight. So, what happens to the other 160 hours? These are all the things that make it ten times better, ten times cheaper, and again, it’s built by caregivers for caregivers because that’s the only way that I can understand what you’re going through is by doing it myself and going through this. I get it.
Gary Barg: Also, it allows us to keep our loved ones living in the community longer and safer.
Ryan Herd: Yes, whether that’s the home that you grew up in—and there’s so many memories attached to that home—or whether Mom turns out to be a snowbird and she’s now in Florida since that’s where her friends now live.
Gary Barg: As we are at the very beginning of a new year, what do you hope that caregivers start doing now, that maybe they haven’t been doing?
Ryan Herd: Simple, how do we have less stress in our lives as family caregivers? I’ve been writing blogs on this topic on caregiversmartsolutions.com. Of course, our main concern is caring for Mom, Dad, Grandma, and we’re rightfully worried about them. But, if we don’t start taking care of ourselves, our health, our wellbeing, our mental state, then we’re not going to be able to deal with the chaos of caregiving. And let’s face it, caregiving is chaotic, whether your loved one has early on stage dementia or Alzheimer’s or is just having a harder time getting around. I think for 2023, the mission for caregivers should be to take care of themselves first, so we can in turn give the best of us to our aging loved ones.