Try to encourage them gently, never forcefully,
to be a part of social gatherings when appropriate.
Keep gatherings small and intimate, with one or two
relatives or friends over for dinner instead of an
all-day affair with the entire clan, like a wedding
or family picnic; this may cause frustration and
stress, helping to set the stage for another
episode. Always discuss your plans with them, and
suggest going on an outing once a week, like a drive
or a walk in the country; go somewhere peaceful and
quite, not hectic and noisy like a city. If you want
to take them out to eat, find a nice, small
restaurant and go during the least busy part of the
day. Don’t ask too many questions, like, "What are
you thinking about?” or “Why are you doing that?"
Talk about outside events that aren’t too emotional,
perhaps discussing a movie or Television program,
instead of world affairs and politics. Know too,
that it may be difficult for them to talk about
anything, but that they still enjoy your company. In
this case, consider watching television, listening
to music, playing cards, or even reading to them.
Begin to encourage them to take some responsibility,
such as leaving them instructions about starting
dinner in case you’re going to be late getting home
that night. Help them learn how to deal with the
stress of being out among society by suggesting that
they accompany you to a washroom if they begin to
feel panicky in a public place, until the feeling
passes.
Remember that family caregivers are often times
the only friends a loved one has, so try to be a
friend as well, by inviting them to come with you
when you do different things, but never force them
to have to go. Last, but not least, always respect
your loved one’s concerns about their illness. If
they ask you not to share the nature of their
disease with other family members or friends, then
don’t, even if you feel you have a lot of experience
that may help other caregivers going through the
same thing. Respect, patience, compassion and
gentleness will go a long way to help you both take
control of the disease, and begin living life to its
fullest again.
