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LET'S TALK ABOUT IT  / Let's Talk Archive / Carenotes

Let's Talk

I do not take myself out of the Circle of Care

We family caregivers are prone to take ourselves out of the all-important Circle of Care:

We make sure that our loved ones get the respite they need, but never give ourselves a break.

We make sure that our loved ones have all the medical attention they need, but forgo our own basic checkups.

We make sure that our loved ones get the nutrition they need, but only eat meals that are ordered through a clown’s mouth from a fast food drive-through lane.

Gary Barg

Question/Topic for May/June 2013

How can we keep ourselves inside the circle of care?

Shared by: Cathleen B
Okeechobee, FL

My 94 year old Mom had fractured her pelvis last year and needed to be in a rehab facility for a period of time. The Social worker at the hospital kept giving me places that were quite a distance from my home. When I told her we needed a place north of the hospital, she said she didn't know any and that I should go home that night and search for skilled nursing facilities in the counties that were closer to my home. When I questioned her about the fact that I thought she had internet access too, she told me she was too busy. I did go ahead and do the search, found several facilities and gave the names and numbers to the social worker. My Mother is on dialysis and we had to find a place that would accept her and transport her-that was the major stumbling block. One of the facilities that I gave her accepted my Mother. After my Mom was moved, I called the supervisor of Social Services at the hospital and explained what I had to do and what her employee told me. I also told her that I better not see a bill for Social Services to Medicare as well as the Social Worker needed to be informed that there were many patients in her hospital that did not live in the Southern part of the county and she needed to be educated on all facilities that were available in the service area of the hospital. I received a very nice letter from the supervisor, the hospital administrator and never did see a bill. By the way, although my Mother is still not an independent walker she gets around quite well on her walker and still receives dialysis 3 times a week.

Shared on: 06/09/2013

Lauging, caring, taking a nap and as I type this I realize I need help in saying it's OK to vent on a caregiving site as a child of 2 parents with dementia. Watching a silly TV show and helping my Mom cook dinner.

Shared by: Il

I don't think it's silly at all to laugh out loud every day. Looking at flowers and stating I like the colour blue. Writing on this comment board. Farmer's Market. Counseling. Trying to set limits. And as I write this I see I need help and support as a child of two parents with dementia and caring for myself.

Shared by: Nancy
Clifton, NJ

My sisters help me keep this and sometimes I complain, but it never fails to help. Every three months or so, one sister watches my son and the other takes me on a spa day. Sometimes, when they are both not available, they will enlist a friend or another relative to help.

Shared by: Harry
Newburg, NY

I know that people may laugh at me, but I swear it helps. I try and find one reason to laugh out loud every single day

Shared by: Phyllis Samson
Phoenix, AZ

This is great to see. I always make sure that I keep my own doctors appointments. I can do this by making the appontments at the same time that I make my husbands. That goes for dentist too.


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