Dear Gary,

“I have another story to add to the one you published last week…After a stroke, my mother came to live in a nursing home in our town.  At that time my children were ages 3, 7, and 10.

I visited Mama daily and often took my children with me, especially my 3 year old daughter, Nora.  One day as we were riding over to see Mama, Nora asked, "Why do we have to go to see Nana every day?"  I told her that Nana had taken wonderful care of me throughout my life and I felt that we should give her back the same type of care in return.  I told Nora that I hoped if I couldn't take care of myself, she would take good care of me.  She said, "Huh, I won't go every day.  I've got to work some of the time!" 

When we got to my mama's room I shared the little story.  Mama thought it was cute and laughed heartily.  Immediately, Nora said, "I changed my mind, Mama.  I will go to see you every day." Since then, my children have grown up in nursing homes.  They have skated in the halls, and wheeled my mother and her friends to dinner and to activities. I used to take their bikes, so they could ride along as I pushed Mama in the wheelchair. Now that Mama is living near my brother and sister, and my children are 13, 17, and 20, I miss those times.

Children truly do learn by example.  I hope my children never have to be my caregiver, but if they do I hope that our family has taught them how to do it well.

I love your magazine, your site, and your emailed newsletter.. Thanks for all you do….”

I love this story and do think that one of the benefits of caregiving is showing our kids how it should be done.   

I think that in caregiving, “giving is getting” and the more we share of ourselves as caregivers, the more we will learn.  This year, let’s make a pact (pinky swear) to take the time to share our stories with one another. I think you will not only be surprised at what you will be able to learn, but what you will be able to teach.     

Overheard Online:

People say I will get jewels in my crown but I just want a vacation!