FROM THE EDITOR'S PEN /
Last week I wrote about the challenges
This week I wanted to
address the other side of the issue that many of
us can relate to all too well Ėcaregiver abuse.
As it so often happens, an email crossed my
computer which details the subject from one
caregiverís point of view representing the issue
in no uncertain terms:
Thank you for your article on Elder Abuse (Good
Medicine For All). I am my motherís caregiver
and legal guardian. I basically do mostly
everything for her. Manage medications, bring
her to the doctors, shopping (groceries,
personal items), balance her checkbook and pay
all her bills. I also live with her in her home
and cook/clean for her.
My challenge is
that she has a dependency of narcotic pain meds.
I have had her de-toxed and psych evaluated and
the doctor in the ward explained to me that he
has not ever come across anyone like my mom,
being a 70-year-old woman with chronic pain and
a past history of alcohol and narcotic abuse.
For example (my father used to buy pills for her
off the streets in addition to her normal
regimen of prescribed meds) this went on for
most of my teenage years. I am now 31 and still
dealing with the behavior of a mother with an
addictive personality among other physical
issues (osteoporosis, arthritis, bursitis,
abdominal aneurysm, colitis)....
it extremely difficult for myself when she
complains of pain and the fact that her
medicines are not helping her. I know that no
one should be in lots of pain and my concern is
that at times I may not be fulfilling her
medical needs when she needs more attention for
She just came back from
the ER and the doctor says the medication she
takes is not strong enough to help her pain. So
here I go again with the concern of putting her
back up on higher doses of narcotics and the
behavior issues that come along with the
addictive logic in her brain chemistry.
It is very challenging and frustrating. Last
night she threatened, grabbed and shook me till
I gave her another Vicodin. I then called 911
and had the hospital deal with it.
Sometimes I feel like I can't do the job. I
don't like to see her in pain, I want her to be
safe and I follow what the doctor says for her
safety. Not everyone is always on the same page
and they don't always want to hear everything I
have to say.
My point is that sometimes
I feel that I am the one who is abused.
you have any helpful information regarding this
came to the right place.
Your suggestions for Alice.