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This Week's Carenote - 5/19/15
I have a brother who wonít clean his house and wonít let me in to help him. What is the best advice you could give me?
I had a brother who recently passed away at the age of 52 and was a hoarder. He would not allow me into his house either. I had convinced him to become a patient at the county mental health clinic with hopes that he would be able to overcome his problem. He finally admitted to me that he was a hoarder, but said he did not know how to stop, or want to for that matter. I found in my research that even the professionals have a hard time diagnosing and treating hoarding behaviors usually becaues the individual does not want or think they need help.
My best advice is to accept that you alone can not make him change. Although my brother's home was my problem after he passed away, I spent the few years prior letting go of the feeling that it was my responsibility and duty to fix him. If you have the support of other family members, you might try to meet with him as a group to voice your concerns and offer help. Understand hoarding is a disease and the problem is most likely bigger than the both of you. Love him and offer support, but give yourself a break if it does not work.