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CARENOTES | Past Carenotes | Let's Talk


Welcome to CareNotes. In this special section we will feature a reader's letter and provide an opportunity for an interactive exchange that will help find some answers and possible solutions to concerns. If you wish to respond to this letter, simple follow the link provided at the end of the letter and add your comments and thoughts to our CareNotes Board.

This Week's Carenote - 3/6/14


I have been my 85-year-old mother's caregiver for six months—since she was in bad car wreck. I can do pretty much anything that needs doing for her willingly and with love. She lives with us and wants a sex toy. I am just not willing or comfortable dealing with that at this point. Anyone else had this issue and how did you handle it? (This is not a joke. When I Googled this question, it took me to a bunch of sites I didn't want to see.)


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Caregivers Reply

Shared by: Kathryne

I was surprised to hear from a healthcare worker, than sexually transmitted diseases are on the rise in senior living facilities. Wow, who knew? I would much rather see you order a sex toy out of one of the mail order catalogs for your Mother. Like Taylor Gifts, and or Harriet Carter something like that. You would be surprised they have vibrators in those magazines, and you can also look on their websites. Show your mother what is available and have her pick it out, order it, and she will be safe and happy.

Shared by: Bette

Do you not want to buy this for her, because you don't see her as a sexually functioning human being? Unfortunately, it seems she no longer has a partner, as some people her age are lucky enough to have. That doesn't mean her body doesn't have the same needs it would have if she had someone to be with. Personally, I've always looked at sexuality at an advanced age as a gift: Something that wasn't taken away from a person as they aged, and a hopeful thing for ME to look forward to, if/when I grow old! If you feel uncomfortable getting this for her, maybe you can ask someone close to you, who is NOT so uncomfortable, to purchase it!

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