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CARENOTES | Past Carenotes | Let's Talk

Carenotes

Welcome to CareNotes. In this special section we will feature a reader's letter and provide an opportunity for an interactive exchange that will help find some answers and possible solutions to concerns. If you wish to respond to this letter, simple follow the link provided at the end of the letter and add your comments and thoughts to our CareNotes Board.

This Week's Carenote - 12/4/13

 

I believe that my parents, who have different stages of Alzheimer's, should be allowed to "participate" in anything that involves their care (i.e., who, what, where and when) as well as any and all family conferences in their regard. Unfortunately, there are eight siblings that disagree with this and have excluded our parents, as well their primary caregiver (me) from these family meetings and decision making. A "mediator" is probably needed to help with these issues. I am afraid that this will end up in a "legal" battle among siblings if not sorted out. Our parents have noticed the dissent and tension among their children and that is not good for them. I would greatly appreciate input from other caregivers who have similar issues. Thank you.

Debbi

 

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Name: Janice
Location: NY
Date: 12/05/2013
Time: 01:18 PM

Comments

This is a tricky situation and there may never be a way to totally resolve it. My opinion is that it really depends on the ability of your parents fully understanding their needs and accepting help. Many people with dementia are in denial they need help and are very resistant to accept it. In that case I feel some tough love and making the decisions you know are good for them is needed. But, if they are still quite cognizant, than participating is their right. My Mom lives with me, so I know better than anyone just how much she is able to do and not able to do. And, I know how much help I need so I often make decisions that benefit me and her whether others agree or not.


 







 

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