My mother doesn't pay attention to taking
her meds, is very combative, and will not
follow simple directions for daily living,
but is mentally fluid. She has diabetes and
now a minor TIA. Her home health aide buys
her éclairs and we cannot stop her
because my mother hired her. My mother was
told her artery is 70 percent blocked in her
neck. She is in her mid-eighties.
We do not want to place her in a nursing
home because we promised her she will stay
at home as long as she is ambulatory, which
she still is, thank God. We are trying to
respect her dignity, but it is out of hand.
It is total madness living in the house. She
will not wash, prefers to stay in soiled
clothes. Says she doesn't want to be a
bother. A lot of control issues. Does anyone
have any insight and recommendations? Please
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| Past Carenotes |
Time: 03:11 PM
Is there a chance you can try respite care for her and yourself for a week or so? Perhaps she can go to a care facility just for a short time and they will be able to make sure she is cleaned and will be able to get her back on a schedule conducive to her needs and medical care. It's so hard doing it alone. A lot of her issues are out of fear and confusion about what is happening to her. I wish the best. Seek assistance from case managers at a local hospital for advice. They are also good resources in the community.
Time: 07:57 AM
Unfortunately, it sounds as if your mother has reached a state of mind and health in which you must begin to assert a significant degree of authority. It will probably be very uncomfortable in the very beginning and may never become totally comfortable for you, but the greater good is keeping your mom as healthy and safe as possible. In my experience and observation of others in similar situations, we started subtly and progressed to taking a firm stand on matters of critical importance. It sounds as if you need to move a little more quickly. An intervervention of some sort is in order concerning the aide. I'm not an expert so I'm not sure how far you can actually go since your mother hired her, but for starters it may help to be even more visible and vocal about your concens. I hope this helps in some way. Its a tough road, but you can do it.