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Carenotes

Welcome to CareNotes. In this special section we will feature a reader's letter and provide an opportunity for an interactive exchange that will help find some answers and possible solutions to concerns. If you wish to respond to this letter, simple follow the link provided at the end of the letter and add your comments and thoughts to our CareNotes Board.

This Week's Carenote - 11/20/12

For the past five years, I have had the responsibility of my parents.

The first situation was having my mom settled in a care home.  She had dementia and was a danger to herself and my dad.  It was a difficult struggle with my dad and my brother to get them to recognize the need  She is doing much better, but my brother refuses any attempt to keep him involved in the decisions.

My dad has chosen to stay in his home.  He is 92 now and is fast getting to the point he needs more help, but wonít allow anyone but me or my daughter in. He is worried his stuff will be taken; when we have had outside help, it has been.

My husband was diagnosed with rectal cancer three years ago and has to wear a colostomy bag.  His personal hygiene is disgusting.  He also shows signs of approaching mental forgetfulness.

One of my children is close by, but two are in distant parts of the country.  Even though I have been through counseling and have been going to a caregiversí group, my anger is so strong, I can hardly control it at times and I want to stay in bed as much as I am able.  Financially, we are not in a good place, so I just canít take off on a holiday if I want to, even if I could leave my father without support.

How does one overcome this anger that I am sure others have.  I am now in my 70s. I am not looking forward to living like this and don't know how to change.  I have hobbies which help; but increasingly, I don't want to see people, either, as people my age all have problems

O. W.

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