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CARENOTES | Past Carenotes | Let's Talk

Carenotes

Welcome to CareNotes. In this special section we will feature a reader's letter and provide an opportunity for an interactive exchange that will help find some answers and possible solutions to concerns. If you wish to respond to this letter, simple follow the link provided at the end of the letter and add your comments and thoughts to our CareNotes Board.

This Week's Carenote - 09/04/12

Recently, my husband was diagnosed with stage IV cancer.  He is in treatment and may even be completely healed, but it still is frightening. There is plenty of opportunity for learning to embrace "UNCERTAINTY." We have both always been the strong, available people who readily lend a hand to anyone and have listened to many woes of all sorts.  Now, when we are in the shock mode and need help with what my husband used to take care of, where are all those we listened to and lent a hand to? It is a new thing for us to ask for help and interesting to find when we do ask, we get the "avoidance" response. There are plenty of support groups for those living with cancer, but the spouse is basically ignored. No one asks, "How are you holding up?" or says, "Can I offer you a hug?" Anyone out there have the same experience? How do I connect with someone who has similar holistic beliefs on wellness and healing, who isn't all about God and Prayer, and yet believes in a collective divinity of responsibility?

Barbara

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