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CARENOTES | Past Carenotes | Let's Talk

Carenotes

Welcome to CareNotes. In this special section we will feature a reader's letter and provide an opportunity for an interactive exchange that will help find some answers and possible solutions to concerns. If you wish to respond to this letter, simple follow the link provided at the end of the letter and add your comments and thoughts to our CareNotes Board.

This Week's Carenote - 05/29/12

How much should I do for my mother-in-law? She is 94 and very intelligent and independent. However, she loves to be waited on and made of. If I would do it, I believe she would allow me to treat her like a princess. How far should I go? I have MS and I let her do as much as she can for herself. Am I wrong? I feel guilty all the time. I know she would like more than we can give her. Please help!
 
Linda

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Name: Dawn
Location: Oregon
Date: 05/30/2012
Time: 08:32 AM

Comments

You must always, always, always, listen to yourself first-your body is the ultimate boss. Then, listen to what makes you happy, content, peaceful. Sometimes, it will be regretfully saying, "No" to those outside demands. I find much pleasure in giving my husband what he desires (not just what he needs), but not all the time, and not even most of the time!!


Name: Steve
Location: Hauppauge, NY
Date: 05/29/2012
Time: 06:15 PM

Comments

YOU have MS? And YOU are putting yourself in the role of a caregiver?! Treat yourself like a princess. If she is so capable, she should be helping YOU. What does your husband have to say about this? Wake up.


Name: Cary
Location: New York
Date: 05/29/2012
Time: 06:55 AM

Comments

Hi Linda! If your Mother-in-Law is able to take care of herself and is more looking for someone to have around to wait on her, please dont feel guilty. Guilt leads to stress and certainly stress is bad for everyone, especially with a condition such as MS. If she were truly dependent on you, that would be one thing. My Mom is 78 and in memory assisted living. At 94, your Mother-in-law is in great shape! Deep breathing and no guilt! Cary


Name: tj
Location: wv
Date: 05/29/2012
Time: 06:16 AM

Comments

Pamper her occasionaly but allow her to do for herself as much as she can. I find the old quote, 'if you don't use it you lose it' to be true. If she does very little then her ability to do things may decrease. You can do special little things for her that show her you appreciate her while allowing her to care for herself keeping her independence.


 







 

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