How much should I do for my
mother-in-law? She is 94 and very
intelligent and independent. However, she
loves to be waited on and made of. If I
would do it, I believe she would allow me to
treat her like a princess. How far should I
go? I have MS and I let her do as much as
she can for herself. Am I wrong? I feel
guilty all the time. I know she would like
more than we can give her. Please help!
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| Past Carenotes |
Time: 08:32 AM
You must always, always, always, listen to yourself first-your body is the ultimate boss. Then, listen to what makes you happy, content, peaceful. Sometimes, it will be regretfully saying, "No" to those outside demands. I find much pleasure in giving my husband what he desires (not just what he needs), but not all the time, and not even most of the time!!
Location: Hauppauge, NY
Time: 06:15 PM
YOU have MS? And YOU are putting yourself in the role of a caregiver?! Treat yourself like a princess. If she is so capable, she should be helping YOU. What does your husband have to say about this? Wake up.
Location: New York
Time: 06:55 AM
If your Mother-in-Law is able to take care of herself and is more looking for someone to have around to wait on her, please dont feel guilty. Guilt leads to stress and certainly stress is bad for everyone, especially with a condition such as MS. If she were truly dependent on you, that would be one thing. My Mom is 78 and in memory assisted living. At 94, your Mother-in-law is in great shape! Deep breathing and no guilt! Cary
Time: 06:16 AM
Pamper her occasionaly but allow her to do for herself as much as she can. I find the old quote, 'if you don't use it you lose it' to be true. If she does very little then her ability to do things may decrease. You can do special little things for her that show her you appreciate her while allowing her to care for herself keeping her independence.