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CARENOTES | Past Carenotes | Let's Talk

Carenotes

Welcome to CareNotes. In this special section we will feature a reader's letter and provide an opportunity for an interactive exchange that will help find some answers and possible solutions to concerns. If you wish to respond to this letter, simple follow the link provided at the end of the letter and add your comments and thoughts to our CareNotes Board.

This Week's Carenote - 12/20/11

My mom, 81, has been staying in an assisted living place off and on for a year, due to several surgeries and physical therapies.  She was staying with my husband and me between surgeries.  The state has been paying for most of her expenses for the last four months.  That is coming to an end because she still owns a house that has been reverse mortgaged twice.
 
She does not want to live with us because she does not like the big city and wants to move back home.  She is in need of 24/7 care.  I have brothers in the coastal town where her home is, but they do not want to be her caregiver unless they are able to move in with her and have her support them, plus being paid. They have not worked for years and their caregiving is not the same as mine.
  
My husband and I want her to live with us.  She has her own furnished room and private bathroom. I will be retiring the first of the year, so I could care for her.  Her house is 120 miles away, so itís not easy to drive back and forth on a regular basis.
 
She has a lot of medical conditions and visits the doctors regularly.  My brothers in the past did not go in to see the doctors with mom.  She gets confused and doesnít remember what the doctors say to her, so itís imperative that someone accompany her.
 
Mom's house needs a lot of work before she can safely live there--wiring, floor rot, and plumbing problems. The house needs to be liquidated and on the market, we all know; but after living there 40 years, Mom has a lot of stuff and wants top dollar if we sell her things.
 
Do you have any suggestions for me or know where I can turn?  I have not joined a caregiving group hereÖperhaps thatís where I should start.
 
Sandy

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