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Welcome to CareNotes. In this special section we will feature a reader's letter and provide an opportunity for an interactive exchange that will help find some answers and possible solutions to concerns. If you wish to respond to this letter, simple follow the link provided at the end of the letter and add your comments and thoughts to our CareNotes Board.

This Week's Carenote - 06/11/09

My dad is mentally incompetent. We don't know exactly what is wrong because we cannot get him to go to the doctor, which is one reason I am writing. I live in TN, but my dad lives in IL. After the recent death of his girlfriend who was taking care of him, my brother has brought him home, but is unable to care for him. I will be going home in about three weeks to help my brother tend to my dad's apartment.

My brother has had power of attorney over his finances for about four years now. Currently my dad has outstanding balances with two credit card companies. My brother contacted them to see if my dad could be released from the debt, the best they could do was offer to take half and be done with it. That would be about $700-$800 for each one which my dad cannot do nor can my brother.

How can we get my dad to go to the doctor with out gagging and binding him? Are there any laws in IL? I have done searches for these topics and have come up with nothing. What about the credit cards? My brother has been told to just stop paying them, however, I find it unethical even if the consequences will not affect my dad. Any and all help greatly appreciated.


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Name: hap
Location: new england
Date: 06/11/2009
Time: 01:38 PM


I would  contact your local area on aging, as they are familiar with these type of questions. As for you dad Not wanting to see the doc---you can also asked them / or bring it up to the physician. Perhaps if he thinks he is doing this for your peace of mind he will consent..Good luck


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