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Welcome to CareNotes. In this special section we will feature a reader's letter and provide an opportunity for an interactive exchange that will help find some answers and possible solutions to concerns. If you wish to respond to this letter, simple follow the link provided at the end of the letter and add your comments and thoughts to our CareNotes Board.

This Week's Carenote - 02/27/09
My wife was recently diagnosed with a terminal illness. There is a lot of information available and what to do during treatment. However, I feel lost because all our dreams have come crashing around us and I find it hard to cope with the idea of dealing with life after she is gone. Any suggestions? 

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Name: Roxanna
Location: Champaign, IL
Date: 02/27/2009
Time: 06:52 AM


Get into a support group a.s.a.p.

Name: JN
Location: Dubuque IA
Date: 02/27/2009
Time: 06:54 AM


I'm glad you have the information you need about treatment and the progression of your wife's illness. Now you can concentrate on the important time you have with her. Practically that means you set aside your dreams (without dwelling on the sorrow of what it means to let them go)to enter into this special time with your wife. To enfold her in your love will comfort her and will bring you peace--beyond her physical care, there is nothing more important for you to do now than this. You'll know what to do, and maybe it will include some piece of your dreams. However you accomplish this, it is your last gift to her--and I'm betting she will accept this gift knowing it is incalculably precious!

Name: Colleen
Date: 02/27/2009
Time: 08:00 AM


Getting in touch with a Hospice organization should be able to help you through this difficult time.

Name: Donna Calm Spirit Spector
Location: St. Louis, Missouri
Date: 02/27/2009
Time: 08:15 AM


I am sorry for your wife and for you. My suggestion is to keep a daily journal starting today of the things you do together and how you comfort her during this time of unknown for both of you. Try to stay in the present right now so you can be strong for her and not think about the future just yet. Take some time for yourself when someone can be with her for short breaks to keep up your strength and comforting smiles. When she is not with you any longer, you will find the strength to share the things that helped you through this journey with the rest of us when we need your guidance in the future. You are a loving, caring husband and I am sure she knows that. We will all be grateful for your knowledge and support to share when you are ready. My prayers are with you and your dear wife.



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