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Welcome to CareNotes. In this special section we will feature a reader's letter and provide an opportunity for an interactive exchange that will help find some answers and possible solutions to concerns. If you wish to respond to this letter, simple follow the link provided at the end of the letter and add your comments and thoughts to our CareNotes Board.

This Week's Carenote - 05/09/08

My name is T and I am 29 years old. I started taking care of my mom, a former RNC in Feb 2005. She had a brain aneurysm and during the clipping had a massive stroke.  It has left her unable to use her left hand/ arm. Her left foot is usually hard for her to pick up, and she has aphasia. I have her to the point where she bathes herself,  lives in an apartment by herself, takes care of 2 cats, cleans and kind of uses email.

Now that I am 9 months pregnant, and my husband I only have one car,  it is much harder. I do her bills online, she takes the metro plus bus, which is for older people, to most of her appointments, and to pick up odds and ends at the store.

But just last week I had to take her to the ER, because she hasn't eaten. My mother though only 59, and a previous nurse...(so she knows better ) is draining me dry. She says she is now eating but  I will find out when I go over.

How do I handle a newborn and my mother. 
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Location: Ohio
Date: 05/09/2008
Time: 11:41 AM


She is probably on some kind of Disability, so maybe with her Doctor's OK, she could be eligible to have a Home Care Agency come into her home to help with meal prep and check up on her daily at meal times. Lots of older people will eat better when they have some one there. That way your visits could be about her and the baby and you wouldn't have to do any of the extra work for several months. Your Mom might like the company... Look up they are in every state, or even her Doctor might know of local agencies with home Care aids...

Name: Jane
Location: Kansas City
Date: 05/09/2008
Time: 11:44 AM


Congratulations on your baby! And what a big job you face! In my opinion, you have only one option: to care for your child and yourself first and your mother second. If you still have time before your baby is born, you might contact some agencies about services that are available in the community for your mother and let her know that you are going to become very busy soon. Meals on Wheels is one service that is probably available in your area and they deliver hot meals to home. Using a network of friends and family to handle issues about your mother's care is very important: identify all those people who have been saying "Do you need any help?" and start putting them to work. If you are attached to a church, ask the minister for suggestions on who in the church could be available to help your mother. Maybe some of your friends or your husband's friends and co-workers could be helpful. It will be important to include your mother in your own family joy about your baby but if you can take some time to help get services set up for your mother, it will make things easier in the long run.

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Date: 08/24/2008
Time: 03:13 AM


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