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OK, Lesson Learned
Last week, at our 60th Fearless Caregiver
conference, the importance of self-care was undeniably
demonstrated for me as well as all caregivers in attendance in a
most dramatic fashion. This event was held in Palm Beach, Florida
and the weather was as close to being a tropical storm as it
could be without the news stations going into full soap opera
interruption mode. We had broken one of our cardinal rules
about hosting these events and that is: stay north in the warm
months, south in the cold months, and avoid Florida during the
hurricane season. Thankfully, there was a lull in the downpour
during the time that people normally arrive and we began the day
with a packed house of hundreds of caregivers.
Just as the applause died down after our
luncheon speaker’s session ended, I took to the stage but before
I was able to utter a word, I heard someone cry from the
audience, “Is there a doctor in the house?” Not really something
you want to hear at any event. I stopped the proceedings and
went to the center of the room to find a well dressed grey
haired lady slumped over in her chair. There were no doctors in
the house but plenty of nurses and as I reached the table, two
of them were already assessing the situation. We immediately
called 911 who arrived there within minutes of the call. While
waiting for the ambulance to arrive, we tried to find out
everything we could to help her. The lady told us that she felt
like she was going to pass out. She had been attending the event
with her husband, a gentleman living with Alzheimer’s disease
who was sitting calmly next to her, and she was of course more
concerned about his care than her own.
When the paramedics arrived they made it
clear that she needed to go to the hospital with them; she
refused, but they insisted, explaining that she would probably
just relapse once she got home. They had difficulty getting her
to divulge any personal information but as they were patiently
persistent, she finally told them that her son lived in town. He
was contacted and advised to meet his parents at the hospital.
As she was being carried out, she told one of my associates that
she often stays up worrying about her husband all night and that
she never takes care of herself. She added that her friends had
coaxed her to attend the event knowing that she needed help, but
was not willing to accept any and hoped that she could learn
something about the importance of taking care of herself as a
caregiver while at the conference.
I think we all did.
Twelve years ago tomorrow, the first
issue of Today’s Caregiver magazine rolled off the presses
and since then the Today’s Caregiver magazine /
caregiver.com family has been honored to learn about love,
dedication and wisdom sharing from the family caregivers we
talk with each and every day. Thank you for your support
and kind words and we look forward to serving you for many
years to come.
My 12 in 12th gift.
Take care
Gary Barg
Editor-in-Chief
gary@caregiver.com
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Take a look.
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Feature
Article |
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When Summer Begins
Outside Work Outs
Don’t
Have to End
By Jennifer B. Buckley
You have been loyal to your outdoor exercise program for months;
walking, even when your muscles ached or biking, even when your
arthritis acted up. ...Continued |
Additional Articles:
Answering the Difficult Questions About Aging
By Gary Beagle
I recently had to assist my 78 and 82
year old aunt and uncle, respectively, who were dealing with some pretty
typical issues
....Continued
Recharging your batteries is one of the most
important ways to help your loved one. ...Continued
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Guest Column |
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Alzheimer's Care Camp
By Jeanne Kessler |
Teens
are busy. Whether it’s soccer practice, piano
lessons or a scout meeting, teens are on the go. ...Continued |
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Caretips |
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Communicating with a Loved One
By Ryan Mackey
Here are some tips if you struggle talking to your loved one, or if you
simply want to improve the connection you share with them...Continued
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Carenotes |
I am
writing to you to see if we
can get more information on
any program that may help
our family in making our
home accessible for my
disabled husband, getting
medical equipment (i.e.
wheelchair, lifts, etc.)
and/or assist me in
caretaking for his daily
living.
My
husband was recently in an
accident that caused him to
injure his spinal cord and
he is now a quadriplegic.
We also have three children
living with us - my 14 year
old step-daughter lives with
us full time (her mother
passed away 3 years ago), we
have a three year old
daughter and I was six
months pregnant at the time
of the accident, so we now
have a six month old baby
boy. This accident has
caused us financial
hardship, however we still
own our home and are not
financially destitute (yet)
so we do not qualify for
many of the state (we live
in Rye, NY – Westchester
County) and federal programs
for assistance such as
Medicare or Medicaid. This
accident happened at our
home, so our homeowners
insurance does not cover it
either. The only insurance
we have is our medical
insurance through my
husband’s job – however it
is quite minimal and we are
paying for most everything
out of our own pocket – for
example the medical
insurance will only pay for
$1,500.00 per year for
durable medical equipment –
which barely even covers the
cost of a wheelchair.
This
accident happened in
September of 2006 and I have
been searching the internet
tirelessly for months now to
see if there are any
programs out there to assist
families in our financial
position and it seems I
cannot find anything that
will assist a family with a
severely disabled person
unless we have no income at
all. We are trying very
hard not to lose everything
we have worked for and it
seems unfair that my husband
has been a law-abiding tax
paying citizen for his
entire life and there are no
programs to assist someone
in his position.
We are
working with a wonderful
VESID counselor in NY who is
trying her best to assist us
with purchasing a van so
that my husband can go back
to work (he is a CPA and can
still work on the computer)
– but other than VESID – I
seem to have hit a dead end
in terms of any financial
assistance. My husband’s
gross income does not allow
us to qualify for many of
these programs, however I
have had to stop working to
be a caregiver to the family
and our NET income is
negative now that we have so
many medical/accessibility
expenses that we have to pay
out of our own pocket.
Can you
please either call me or
write to me and let me know
if there are any programs
out there that you know of
that may assist our family –
loan program, grant program,
etc. anything please let me
know.
Thank you
LL
Answer This Week's CareNote:
carenotes/2007/index.htm
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