"The More You Know"

As the 2006 holiday season approaches, many of us will be traveling to spend time with families. For long distance caregivers this represents an unprecedented opportunity to find out how your loved ones are really doing. So many times all focus is on the ill parent that your caregiving parent’s needs can go undetected until it is much too late. I have always joked that caregivers are a sneaky bunch, and I say that in the most loving way.  In my weekly phone calls with my mom before I moved back to South Florida in 1994, she made it seem as if there were absolutely no problems to be had at home.  After my first night back, I knew that nothing could be further from the truth. But she was a true caregiver, making sure that her kids living out of town didn’t worry so much.

In different circumstances, a loved one can easily mask the challenges they may face when early onset of dementing disorders strike. At first, it is easy to cover up that you don’t remember the grandkids names in a five minute phone conversation with a general “how’s the kids?” Things are harder to mask during a 48 hour family visit if the caregiver knows what to look for. Barry Feinstein, a Certified Geriatric Care Manager in Fort Lauderdale, Florida suggested that you “should notice if you begin to hear the same questions being asked repeatedly and don’t dismiss the idea that there might be challenges to deal with when mom makes a wrong turn on the way to the store after living in the same location for years”  This does not give anyone the right to snoop into their loved ones lives, rather it may be the opportunity to create a dialogue about Advanced Directives and Long Term Care wishes. Instead of sitting down with your parents and demanding that they prepare the proper documents and share their end-of-life decisions, sit down as equals and openly share your wishes with them before talking about theirs.

The challenges of early onset dementia and Alzheimer’s is the focus of the November /December issue of Today’s Caregiver magazine and a major focus of the newly updated Alzheimer’s Channel at caregiver.com. “The more you know, the better you can care”   

Take care
Gary Barg
Editor-in-Chief
gary@caregiver.com

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Feature Article
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Guest Column
Caregiving Issues Facing the Multi-Generational Family By Helen Hunter, ACSW, CMSW There are many family situations today where you can find three, four or even five generations living under one roof...Continued
Caretips
Take Time By Amy Kaser, RN As a Registered Nurse, my previous practice has been primarily focused on the individual with the disease process...Continued
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Carenotes
I've been with my boyfriend for a year now and it has been the most wonderful year and I wish to have many more with him. He was diagnosed with schizophrenia 3 years ago and he is still coming to terms with it. When I first met him and he told me about his illness, I didn't have clue. I had to read up on it and have learnt a great deal. He is surprised at how supportive I am of him and not done a runner once he told me. However, this is the 2nd time in a few months he has told me he wants to be with me but isn't 100% sure he can give me what I want, and it has totally broken my heart.  I love him to pieces and don't want to be without him.  I suggested to him to have some space, i.e no calls or texts from me and he has agreed. Just so scared he wants to split up with me. I just don't understand why split with someone and then admit while they are on holiday that you miss them.  Someone please help. Is this a way schizophrenics dealing with situations?   Answer This Week's CareNote: carenotes/2006/index.htm
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