Do you ever think things are going too good to
be true and something bad must happen to compensate? I have
always thought that way. When I met my husband, Mario, our
life was wonderful. He was great, life was good, and we had
our two little boys. I couldn’t imagine a better life than the
one I had. But things did get bad; they got very bad.
Life is unpredictable and can be changed by a single phone call;
everything that I ever knew or believed in was forever altered.
My father died when I was eleven and as an only
child my mother was all I ever had until I met my husband.
When my husband and I moved to Sacramento there was no question
about my mother moving also. It was just a question of how far
down the street she would buy her house from ours. My family
spent the weekends with my mother and I spoke with her on the phone
every day at least once if not more. I lived at home with my
mother until I moved in with my husband. I could come and go
as I pleased, and only paid a small portion of rent. My mother
depended on me for emotional support and for companionship. I
was lucky to find someone who accepted my relationship and all the
baggage that came with it and was also willing to give their love to
my mother also.
Saturday, October 13, 2001 forever changed my
way of life. My husband and I were lying around and watching
television. Our children were in the yard playing ball.
At 3:00 pm the phone rang. My first thought was that my mother
was calling to let me know my aunt was here. The call was
about my mother, but not what I expected. The call was from
the manager of Costco. He was letting me know that paramedics
were taking my mother to Kaiser. She had collapsed while
shopping and that my aunt would meet me there. Before I could
even hang up the phone my husband was asking what had happened.
I couldn’t speak; my mind couldn’t seem to process what I had heard.
Taking some time to compose myself, I shared the
conversation I had with my husband. He took over the situation
quickly and effectively. He got our children together and
called his friend to see if they would take them for a few hours.
He then locked up the house and got us all out to the car. His
friend was going to meet us at the hospital to pick up our children.
The hardest part now, was not knowing anything about the situation.
Mario tried to reassure me by saying it was probably nothing and
that my mom would be laughing about this later. I wanted so
much to believe him, but I just couldn’t shake the fact that
something was terribly wrong.
We arrived at the hospital before the ambulance
and had to wait for about 30 minutes before we could find anything
out. The doctor came out to see me, and without Mario standing
beside me I’m sure I would have collapsed. The doctor said
that my mom was in a coma and they were not sure at this point
whether my mother was having a seizure or if she had a stroke.
I of course began to pray for a seizure. I was told that if it
was a seizure she would be fine by tomorrow. The doctor was
leaning towards a seizure because of the symptoms she showed before
her collapse. She did not show typical stroke symptoms.
The doctor let us know that they were going to make sure she was
stable and put her in a room for the night and would let us know
what was going on. Now the waiting began. Oh, to know
what I know now, to be so trusting of the medical personnel, to not
question what the doctor said.
I spoke with my aunt who said my mother simply
rolled her eyes and dropped to the ground. Can someone tell me
what these signs are typical of? Those symptoms could be
typical of a dozen different things. Mario reminded me to stay
calm and focus on the fact that my mother would probably be fine.
That my mother had been having some breathing issues and maybe the
breathing problems brought on a seizure. The doctor had
informed me that they were talking about a “Grand Mal Seizure”.
All I could think, was this was my mother and I wasn’t ready to let
go yet. It was going to be a long night. Little did I
know the night would turn into a couple of long days.
When I got up to go the hospital the next
morning I was beginning to think positive, that my mother would
smile at me when I walked into the room. That it was only a
seizure and no permanent damage was done. Not only did my
mother not smile when I walked in, the nurse let me know the doctor
had been waiting for me. The prognosis, my mother had suffered
a cerebrovascular accident. In other words a very nasty,
massive stroke centered in the left side of her brain. That
wasn’t the worst part of the conversation. The worst thing was
that her brain was currently swelling and at the rate it was
swelling my mother wouldn’t survive the day. They informed me
to stop the swelling they needed to give her a drug that if she had
any type of bleeding within her body, the drug could kill her.
They told me I had several decisions to make and they needed to be
made quickly. I called my husband and told him I needed him
My mother was given Heparin therapy, the
swelling stopped. The damage was already done. My mother
is now paralyzed on the right side, has a conditioned called
aphasia, the inability to speak and now requires twenty four hour
care. I now take care of my mother as she took care of me for
many years. I bath her, take her to the bathroom and I dress
her. I cut her food up and make sure she takes her medicine.
My mother now has the emotional maturity of a two year old.
She cries when she doesn’t get her way and she loves stuffed
animals. She doesn’t like to take her medicine and she will
pour her drink out if it is not cold enough. This is not what
I expected to be doing while raising two children.
My life was turned upside down by one phone
call. I now understand how truly precious life is. What
a short time we may be given. One of the most important
lesson, there are worse things than death. I love my mother,
but I now feel guilt because I wished it had ended in the hospital
that day, but I turn around and am thankful I was given this time to
say goodbye. I no longer take life for granted, I realize that
material positions are really only important to you, not to anyone
else. I realize that you shouldn’t put off that special
dinner, that special trip or put off that phone call.
Sometimes tomorrow will never come. Sometimes a phone call can
change your entire life in ways you never expected.
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