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Family Caregiving: Sharing the Work
By Rita L. Calderon
Professional Support,
if and when needed – that goes for both of
you.
For the care receiver:
When is it time for a home health aide or
paid companion? Whether you need
respite for yourself or a total replacement,
there are many levels of need between the
person who needs some companionship plus
some cooking, and someone who cannot perform
activities of daily living (ADL’s) without
assistance, like dressing, bathing, eating,
continence, or are at risk for falling.
A professional home health aide may be
necessary simply because the daughter, who
has been doing it all, is not physically
strong enough to lift her father.
Sometimes the family caregiver is too
personally close to the situation to be
objective; therefore, a doctor, nurse
practitioner, social worker, or geriatric
care manager can help assess the need for
appropriate care by a certified home health
aide or attendant, or for residential
placement in assisted living or nursing
home. It may be four hours a week
respite for meal preparation, or it may be
24/7, but clarifying the level of need will
greatly help to reduce stress.
For the caregiver:
Many items on the assessment checklist above
are symptoms of depression and anxiety.
For some, all we need is a little emotional
support and information. Plugging into
sources such as this magazine, Today’s
Caregiver, and its many supportive Web links
(discussion forum, newsletter, etc.) can
prevent isolation. Other organizations
offer caregiver support groups; it can be
enormously helpful to share your experiences
with others to alleviate the sense of
isolation. But if low moods persist,
if sleep or eating disruption, anxiety or
irritability continue, or you just want to
talk about what you are going through, you
might benefit from psychotherapy or
counseling to enhance coping, better manage
stress and set future goals.
- Self Care. Sleep!
Eat! Exercise! Accessorize! As
much as possible, maintain a normal routine.
Stay in touch with friends. Make a date
with yourself each week to indulge in things
you like; something simple can seem like a
luxury, like sipping latte in a bookstore
and reading for pure pleasure (fiction,
poetry, books on the world’s 100 most
beautiful quilts, or the history of paella;
you get the idea – not books on caregiving),
burying your watch deep inside your handbag
and silencing the cell phone. Go to
the spa, meditation class, movies, a
candlelit dinner with champagne, or sit home
listening to music—whatever gives you
pleasure. Risking an old cliché here,
you cannot help someone else if you are not
in good shape. First, be your own good
caregiver.
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