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Caregiver Guilt

Guilt is destructive. It impedes our progress and inhibits our own destinies in this life. We spend our time berating ourselves for where we perceive failure instead of focusing on all the good we achieved, the quality of life we brought to our loved ones and the character development that ensued as a result. The best knowledge we can possess is that our efforts made a difference in the last days of our loved ones. There is no easy remedy for guilt. No magic formula we can use to erase it from our being. At best, it is an ongoing process, one that we must practice every day so that we can successfully eradicate guilt from our lives. We have to look in the mirror and confidently tell ourselves that we have done the best we were able to do. Given the tools we had to work with, we used our best judgement, and made caregiving decisions that we truly felt were in the best interest of all concerned.

It takes discipline to focus on the attainment of a higher level of living for all of us as the mortal bonds are broken. However, our loved ones live on in our hearts forever and those eternal bonds remain. The memories can be used to comfort us that much sooner if only we can cast off the guilt that simply clouds our vision and torments our minds. Peace then comes as we realize and acknowledge that there was purpose to all we shared. The lessons learned change us and equip us to better empathize with those who follow after along our paths of experience. Release the guilt you carry and listen with your heart. You will truly find your loved ones not only dwell in peace, but wish the same for you as well.

Dorothy Womack was caregiver to her mother for 14 years. Send comments to kate@caregiver.com further reproduction by written permission only.

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